5 Tips to Spice up your Sex Life

There can be a variety of reasons why we may have pain with intimacy! Some of these reasons include pelvic floor tightness from a full body perspective, hormonal imbalances leading to vaginal dryness, psychological factors such as stress and thinking about the 50 million things you have to do in a day, history of trauma, a lack of communication with your partner, and not enough foreplay! 

You should know that pain with intimacy is NEVER normal! 

Here are 5 top tips for improving pain with intimacy:

1. Just BREATHE! 

Did you know that your breath and diaphragm coordinate with your pelvic floor? As we take a 360 breathe (meaning that the rib cage expands in the front, side and back allowing the belly to rise) the pelvic floor will naturally relax or lengthen. Then as we exhale the pelvic floor will naturally recoil. If you are unable to breath well, then you might have difficulty relaxing the pelvic floor causing more restriction or pain with insertion!

Also, it is important that we are not holding our breath during intercourse as this can also lead to more tension and pain. 

2. Lube it UP! 

There can be various reasons for a lack of natural lubrication to include decreased estrogen such as being in a postpartum or menopausal state, decreased arousal due to stress, anxiety, lack of foreplay, medications, and lastly dehydration! 

Even if you feel like you are self-lubricating well…. a little bit of extra lubricant can go a long way! 

Some of my favorite lubricants are: 

- Organic Coconut Oil (not recommended with condom use) *There has been some research to show that it can affect vaginal pH, if not used sparingly, meaning that you do not need a TON to see the benefits. 

- Coconu

- Uberlube

- Slippery Stuff

- Good Clean Love

3. Stretch it OUT!

Stretching prior to intercourse or penetration can be helpful to relax the pelvic floor muscles to prepare for insertion! Increased tension in the hips, low back and pelvis can create more discomfort with both insertion and deep penetration! 

Example of some of these are:

- Frog Stretch

- Puppy Pose

- Happy Baby 

However, seeing a Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist for an individualized exercise prescription can be even more beneficial! 

4. Foreplay Baby!

Foreplay helps to increase arousal, promote a better connection with your partner, and improves blood flow and lubrication allowing for decreased pain with penetration - making sex more enjoyable! 

5. Lastly, See a Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist!! 

It is important to truly get to the ROOT cause of why you may be having pain with intercourse and there is usually some form of musculoskeletal component! We always take a full body approach to include taking a thorough history and then preforming a head-to-toe physical examination to include functional movement patterns, orthopedic assessment, and internal pelvic floor assessment to determine what could be leading to your pain! 

Lastly, if we do feel that seeing a Sex Therapist, Mental Health Therapist, or another provider in combination with Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist would be beneficial then we have wonderful referral sources that we will recommend. It has been shown that seeing a Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist in combination with a Mental Health Therapist related to intimacy can improve outcomes! 

If you are experiencing any pain with intimacy, reach out to us for a thorough evaluation! We are here for YOU and know that there is HOPE out there!